The Voices Of & For Parenting Surivors

Anthology submissions update

So our initial deadline has passed, and we want to thank everyone who has sent in their submissions for your bravery and your trust in us. Dawn and I have been looking through the submissions, and we have been talking about our vision for this project as a whole. We have decided on a few changes that we want to make, so here is what we are thinking at this point:

1. We are extending the deadline for submissions to May 31

We are still looking for more diversity in our submissions, and especially would like to see some submissions from Dads. So we are going to keep working to spread the word, and if you can help us with that, please let us know.For those who submitted by the Jan 31 deadline, we will still be getting back to you by March 31 to let you know if your submission will be included.

2. We are widening our criteria for submissions

Initially we had specified that we were looking for survivors of childhood abuse. While that will still remain the main focus, we are now opening the submission process to any parent who is an abuse survivor. Rape and domestic abuse survivors have the same experience of working through triggers while parenting as those who survived childhood abuse, and we believe that their stories are an important part of this project as well.

3. We are now accepting submissions of poetry as well as essays. If you have already submitted an essay, but would like to submit a poem as well, you are more than welcome to do that.

4. We are specifying more details about what we do and do not want in submissions

Our focus for this anthology is on healing from abuse. Our triggers are windows into those places inside us that still need our loving attention. As such, we want the focus to be on the here and now, the issues that come up for you as you parent  your kids. We do not want to focus on any specific details of the abuse itself unless it is directly related to one of those triggers, and is necessary to tell that story.

How can one raise a child without incorporating the ideas that she/he was taught and saw as a child? We all want to break the cycle of abuse, but if we don’t pay attention to the triggers, we miss the clues on how to do that.

What are your triggers?
How do they come up?
What part of you is still hurting, that the trigger is bringing attention to?
How have you or are you healing through parenting?

Thank you to everyone who has been following along as this project develops. It is a big learning curve for both Dawn and I, but then again, we are doing something groundbreaking, so that is bound to be the case. Keep on joining in the conversation, and keep on sharing as much as possible about Trigger Points.

Our Stories Matter.

Joyelle

The Voices Of & For Parenting Surivors

Thank you Huffington Post

We are so thrilled to have been featured on Huffington Post this week, with Dawn’s original piece of writing that started this project.

2014-12-15-raisingagirl-thumbHere is an excerpt from the piece:

“Momma, Can I put on some makeup?”

I tell my daughter she is beautiful without it, but “Sure honey, what’s the harm?”

Internally, I am struggling with ideas of beauty and sexuality and safety and how all of this will play out in her life. I can’t help but want to tell my daughter “no,” she can’t wear makeup; and in the years ahead of her, “no,” she can’t wear anything that sexualizes her in any way. I want to protect her as much as I can against catching the attention of a predator — even knowing that idea is a farce. Makeup and fashion statements have nothing to do with victimization. Predators don’t look for lipstick and short skirts. They look and wait for opportunity, usually within surroundings that are comfortable to a child.

At her age, I became a sexual object to someone. I know enough now to know, it had nothing to do with what I looked like, but more the opportunity given to a man with a sick addiction and no self control. It’s not what the child looks like, but how vulnerable she is.

You can read Dawn’s full post here.

The Voices Of & For Parenting Surivors

About Trigger Points Anthology

We are collecting personal essays for an anthology called “Trigger Points: Abuse survivors experiences of parenting”.

Description
Our goal is to create awareness for survivors of childhood sexual and physical abuse, who are now parents. It’s true what they say, becoming a parent changes everything. How one continues his/her process of healing after having a child is part of that.

We are both survivors and parents. We have struggled with the effects of the abuse on how we parent, and with either a lack of desire to hear about it, or a lack of understanding from our communities. If our culture never allows us to be honest about what happened to us, and the effects it has had on us, how are we expected to break the cycle?

break_the_silence_3

The anthology will focus on what it has been like for you as a parent, a physical and/or sexual abuse survivor, to raise a child. Tell us about what triggers arose when you became a parent and how you are coping. We want to know if your recovery was improved, interrupted or halted by starting your family. Have you ever talked about this before, if so, what was the response like? Is the idea of your children’s safety always on your mind? Yeah, ours too. Tell us about that too.

The details are as followed:
**Email your personal essay of no more than 1,500 words to triggerpointsanthology@gmail.com.
Please include a short bio and feel free to include any social media links. You may remain anonymous, if you choose to do so.

**Essay must not have appeared in a published collection before. If published on your own blog, that’s fine.

**Deadline for submissions is January 31, 2015. We will notify writers whose essay has been accepted by March 31, 2015. Writers will receive a $20 contribution payment via pay pal by April 14, 2015.

**We will only ask for non-exclusive rights to your work. You will be free to do as you please with it, once it is published.