Survivors Empowering Survivors

We Just Have To Be Asked.

Liz Mullinar’s story captures the very essence of the #SurvivorsEmpoweringSurvivors series. She walked away from a prominent career to put in motion a plan to use her traumatic experiences, and the knowledge gained because of it, to help fellow survivors heal. The result is the Heal for Life foundation, which is providing compassionate, empathic and scientifically backed approaches to help survivors get to the root of their traumas, and move forward in their healing journey.


liz-mullinarAfter years of struggling and feeling no one understood us survivors, I determined that the only way to create change was to start our own organization. So, I announced at a particularly irritating health professionals meeting that I would start our own organization which would truly present the survivors view of what we need in order to heal and if anyone wanted to join me, to phone me.

Wonderfully, a few people did and we started Advocates for Survivors of Child Abuse(ASCA), and opened survivors groups throughout Australia. Within two years, we had 55 groups running despite a complete lack of funds!!

However, the more we met, the more we began to see the need for more than the validation and support being offered in the groups. We needed a safe place where we could go and unburden our pain. A place where we could heal without judgment; a place where we could feel safe enough to release our fear and be able to move on in our lives, freed from the burden of our child abuse.

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In 1997, my husband and I sold our home and business (Liz Mullinar casting) and built Mayumarri; a safe place for survivors of abuse.

My original concept was that we would charge nothing and anyone could come for as long as they liked. That idea evolved because of a wonderful counselor, Margaret Williams, who devised and implemented a 5 day program. At first we charged nothing to attend, but we found the less people paid the less likely they were to turn up (still the same today), so sadly we started charging $50 for the week.

The program has gone from strength to strength and has now been running for 16 years. Over 6,500 people of all ages have been helped on their healing journey.

I know now both anecdotally and through our independent research that everyone can heal from mental illness and the symptoms we suffer from as a result of our abuse, by releasing the emotions connected with our  childhood trauma.

Everything we do here is informed by our own innate knowledge of what we need as survivors of child abuse to do in order to heal and consistently backed up by the latest neuroscience.

In our model we have 5 steps.

  1. Recall the traumatic moment in time via the right hemisphere of the brain (visualizations, music creative work.)
  2. Feel, and with physical effort release the emotions that were not safe to feel at the time. Encourage the ‘Inner Child’ to talk, and prompt them to stay in her/his emotions.
  3. Verbalize the feeling and whatever needs to be said about what happened.
  4. Re-empower the child.
  5. Nurture the child

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Our program is run almost entirely by volunteers, people who have healed through the program and want to help others to do the same. Our facilitators are paid. These are mainly people who came first to Heal For Life with no purpose in life; however, after discovering that they could heal and how amazing that is, they have become such passionate advocates. Some have gone on to train as therapists, psychologists or other related professions and have returned to heal For Life to help others, giving them hope and assurance that they can heal.

Our office and property are also run by survivors of child abuse, usually people who want to stay for a longer period to heal and help.

We also run camps for kids from 8 years upwards. These are immensely rewarding and worthwhile to change their lives around while they are still so young.

Heal For Life succeeds because it is run by survivors of abuse and we know what we need to do and create in order to feel safe. We know only a non authoritarian, non hierarchical structure works. We know all of us innately know what we need to do in order to heal; we just have to be asked. We know we all can heal. We know no one is beyond help, and that life is a choice. We can choose to heal or we can stay stuck in victimhood.

We now have centres run by volunteers in the Philippines and England and hopefully one day people from other countries will choose to join us.

Come and join us wherever in the world you live, and help us to change the way survivors are healed and help us to create more happiness and hope in this world which we believe can be found by healing from our childhood abuse.

Click to watch Liz’s TEDx: Treating the Core Problem to Childhood Trauma

 

http://www.healforlife.com.au/

https://www.facebook.com/Heal-For-Life-Foundation

Bio

LIZ MULLINAR is a survivor of incest, satanic ritual abuse and sexual abuse. She is the founder of Heal For Life Healing Centres for survivors of child abuse & trauma. She co-founded and subsequently ran the first national charity for people who had suffered childhood trauma – Adults Surviving Child Abuse (ASCA).

Liz conceptualized the book “Breaking the Silence” and co-edited it. She also wrote an autobiography with her brother, “The Liz Mullinar Story”. Both published by Hodder Headline.

In 1997 she was made a Member of the Order of Australia (AM) for services to the community, and in 2000 she was awarded the inaugural Australian Humanitarian of the Year award. She was also honoured on “This is your life” in 2001 and in 2003 received a centenary medal. In 2006 she was a finalist in the Charity CEO of the year award. 2009 she was honoured with an achievement award on Australia day as well as being named as New South Wales volunteer of the year. She was a finalist for Australian of the year in 2010.

Liz is now very involved in helping Indigenous people use the model in remote communities & in training heath professionals in Trauma Informed Care so that what she has learned over the last 17 years can help far more people than the actual guests on programs.

Click here to become a guardian angel and  help  someone heal from their childhood trauma.Liz Mullinar AM, BTh, M. Couns  | CEO & Founder |  380 Coney Creek Lane Quorrobolong   NSW  2325 |  PO Box 361 Cessnock NSW 2325 Australia  | (+61 2 49986003  |  Fax +61 2 49986041;mobile: 0409714372

Survivors Empowering Survivors

How I Used My Own Detour to Help College Students

I’m so excited to kick off the #SurvivorsEmpoweringSurvivors series with Amy Oestreicher. You will be shocked and inspired by what this beautiful woman has not only overcome, but accomplished in spite of some of the most difficult challenges one can imagine. Her resilience is astounding. We’ll hear from Amy again later in the month when she shares her story of sexual assault and how she learned to move through the hopeless feeling of why did I let this happen to me? Amy’s story lent itself to a major ah-ha moment for me and I can’t wait to share it with you. Today, Amy will be taking you through her “detours” and proving to all of us that despite the detours, anything is possible.

I’m the only person in the world that feels this hopeless. 

How can things ever get better?

 I must be crazy.

I feel so alone.

These thoughts raced through my head for years.

When Life Takes A Detour…

These were thoughts I had when my “thought-out” life took a detour.

What’s a detour?

A detour is a curve in the road, a bump in a path, a big sign in the middle of your trip that says sorry, you have to go THAT way.

Nobody expects a detour to happen in life. It’s what happens when we think we have things planned and all figured out, and then we’re thrown a curveball.
Believe me, I didn’t expect to be in a coma my senior year of high school.

At 17, I was molested for almost a year by my voice teacher, then at 18, my stomach literally exploded due to an unforeseen blood clot, I was in a coma for months, and almost died.

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It’s a mouthful, I know.  That was my detour.

For a long time, my detour felt like a dead-end.  After 27 surgeries and six years unable to eat or drink, I didn’t know where my life was going anymore.  As my stitches healed one by one, my thoughts seemed to unravel day by day.  My detour took me to a very scary place, into a new body and a new mind, troubled by Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome – PTSD.  Not only had I woken up in a new body, I now had a mind troubled with anxious thoughts, associations and memories.

Stress Makes Us Feel Alone

Stress and anxiety can make us feel like we’re entirely alone in our struggles.  College, especially, can be a breeding ground for stress – a turning point in our lives where we’re independent, perhaps for the first time.  Doors become open to us that we never even knew existed.  We realize we have the power to make choices, which can be equal parts empowering and frightening.

When I was going through my traumas, the biggest thing I needed to know was that I wasn’t alone. I wanted to reach out to a friend, a mentor, or a community of people, just to listen, to show understanding and compassion.

I realized I wasn’t alone in my stress, depression and anxiety when I saw how mental health issues and emotional concerns were a campus-wide issue.

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Plagued with their own anxiety, as well as taking on the anxiety from their families, many students appear more stressed than ever.  The office hours of my professors were jam packed with students asking for advice on how to handle situations outside of the class room or looking for advice on what to do. Counseling centers are operating on waitlists and students are not learning how to self care properly.  Students may feel uncomfortable reaching out to health and counseling services.  Worse, students may be unaware that these resources exist.

The Frightening College Reality

I was shocked to find out, in a 2011 NAMI study, that 64% of college dropouts were for mental health-related reasons, and that, of those, 50% never accessed any mental health programs or services.  73% of college students report having experienced a mental health crisis while in college. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among college students.

This inspired me to develop a program that combines Broadway theatre and mental health advocacy.  Now, I deliver this keynote to colleges and universities, providing hope, health, and saving lives.

I never thought that 10 years after I was supposed to start college, I’d be doing a different kind of college tour!

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Gutless & Grateful, the honest one-woman musical story of my life, shows the great and not so great aspects of a “detour” in life.  How I traveled my “detour” was by trial and error – and it still is.  But what I realized is that when I finally spoke up, asked for help when I needed it, and shared my story, I was finally able to heal and move on from it.  Gutless & Grateful is the story of how I became a Detourist.

It takes “guts” to talk – and sing – about my sexual abuse, my anger, my guilt, how I lost hope in things ever getting better.  But I share to show that things do get better with patience, trust and resilience.

From my own decade of medical isolation, I learned that nobody can heal in a vacuum. Being able to reach out for help and find support is what helps us realize we’re not alone.  This inspired me to start trying to bridge the gap of communication between departments on campus – academia, career counseling, wellness resources, accessibility, and student groups.  There are barriers between academia and a student struggling with anxiety, campus life transitions, and common adjustments needed for college.
Students often feel embarrassed, afraid or too overwhelmed to seek out wellness resources available to them on campus.  Those who are struggling may not even know there are resources that can help or they may fear being labeled. What ends up happening is many students fall through the gaps.

Starting the Conversation on Campus

My show Gutless & Grateful aims to introduce helpful resources on campuses that can help students build resilience.  I’m sharing the story of my life, and then talking to campuses about what students can do to create their own resiliency toolbox; a must-have in order to deal with stress and navigate life’s detours.

In the final component of my program, I introduce  students to a panel of counselors, faculty and wellness resources on campus, opening the channel of communication between the student body and staff.  If we can bridge that gap, we can help more students get the help they deserve.

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A strong campus community is full of compassion, support, and resilience.  The more open we are about our struggles – whatever they may be – the more we can normalize needing a bit of help.  Resilience is a learned skill, it’s a challenging task, but it is achievable.  Through resilience, I learned how to cope with stress, anxiety, and even better, I was able to travel my detour long enough to finally find that beautiful clearing.

If life's taken you down an unexpected path, you're a Detourist

We all need to learn how to cope when life doesn’t go like we expect it to. We all could use a few tips on learning how to love who we are.  We all have detours in our lives, and we become empowered when we trust that we can travel those detours and come out okay – even better! This “detour” in my path has turned into the richest time of my life and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. That’s why I call it my “beautiful detour.”

amy 01.pngSo when life gets stressful, or just doesn’t go as you plan, think of it as a detour – and make it a beautiful one.

As you travel, remember to reach out and ask for the help you need.  Together we’re stronger.  Together, we can navigate our beautiful detours.

 

 

 

Learn more about Amy’s program for colleges here as well as her programs for LGBT students and sexual assault survivors.  Get involved in the student Detourist movement here, and help contribute to making #LoveMyDetour a world wide movement.

Amy Oestreicher is a  PTSD peer-peer specialist, artist, author, writer for The Huffington Post, award-winning health advocate, actress and playwright.  As a survivor and “thriver” of nearly 30 surgeries, a coma, sexual abuse, organ failure and a decade of medical trauma, Amy has been challenged with moments of extreme difficulty.  But as an artistnewlywedactress, 28-year old college student and overall lover of life, Amy eagerly shares the lessons learned from trauma and has brought out the stories that unite us all through her writingmixed media artperformance  and inspirational speaking.

Amy works directly with survivors of sexual assault and those healing from PTSD. Learn more about her college sexual assault prevention initiative here. All artworkwas created by Amy as a way to heal from her own history of sexual assault.

Amy Oestreicher

Actress, Artist, Writer, Speaker, Survivor, and Detourist

Watch Great Comebacks Documentary

Writer for Huffington Post. Featured in Cosmopolitan and on TODAY

Speaker for RAINN

Motivational Speaker on Student Mental Health, Women’s Empowerment, and Entrepreneurship

Creator of Gutless & Grateful

Follow me on Twitter InstagramEtsy and Facebook! Join the #LoveMyDetour Campaign.